Positive Moves Wellbeing | Private Psychologist Bayside Melbourne

BREATHE MOVE NOURISH CONNECT

Home
About
Services
Blog
Appointments

tel: 0437 350 188 | email: christeen@positivemoveswellbeing.com.au

Breathe

Therapy to build resilience, mental & emotional health

Read About Our Individual Therapy

Move

Moving with you through change, challenge and growth

Find Out About Our Walking Therapy

Nourish

Training and Resources for healthy minds

Explore Our Training & Resources

Connect

Nurturing healthy minds through healthy relationships

Find Out About Our Group Events

Breathe

Therapy to build resilience, mental & emotional health

Read About Our Individual Therapy

Move

Moving with you through change, challenge and growth

Find Out About Our Walking Therapy

Nourish

Training and resources for healthy minds

Explore our training and resources

Connect

Nurturing healthy minds through healthy relationships

Find out about our group events

@positivemoveswellbeing

Let go of comparison and judgement for the sake of

Let go of comparison and judgement for the sake of understanding and connection.

Some years ago I listened to @elizlesser TedTalk and her concern that we demonise “others” in our culture by giving voice to the most divisive among us. She identified this “otherising” as the kind of talk that can wound and fester into paranoia and then be used by those on the fringes to incite. It is the type of voice that encourages polarizing and side-taking and to overcome it we need to open up rather than close down.

In recent weeks I’ve been witness to some pretty divisive and polarizing interactions (and the impact these can have on participants and those caught in their wake). We are all guilty of becoming stuck in our way, tightly bound to our beliefs, and blinded by the lens of our own perception. It can lead us to accentuate separateness and difference rather than connectedness and inclusion. So how can we ensure our interactions with others close the gap rather than exacerbate divisions?

In her TedTalk, @elizlesser challenged each of us to share lunch with someone who’s views oppose our own. Rather than judge we could join in conversation. Actually take time to share in discussion together so we might better understand each other.

I wonder who you would invite and what questions might help you better understand and facilitate connection? When we better understand one another, we are more inclined to see the qualities we share. Where might you find common humanity?

* Would you share some of your experiences with me….
* What issues deeply concern you….
* What have you always wanted to ask/understand of someone from the ‘other side’….
* Don’t persuade, defend or interrupt;
* Be curious,
* Be conversational,
* Be real;
* and listen…

Imagine if we each commit to sitting with the discomfort and seeing what emerges. We might just be surprised.

#interpersonalrelationships #relationalhealth #adultattachment #togetherapart #relationshipsmatter #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation #emotionalintelligence #bringingpsychologytolife #integrativetherapy #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #resilienttogether #telehealth #walkingtherapy

Leadership Victoria hosted #TogetherweCLAN last

Leadership Victoria hosted #TogetherweCLAN last night and invited participants to come along with enthusiasm, curiosity, an open-mind and kindness. These are perfect ingredients for rich conversation and exploration. Groups delved into some of the big challenges (equity, mental health, climate change, family violence, opportunity, gender equality). Participants shared reflections we can all integrate in our response to challenging times:
 • create safe spaces and trust • resist the urge to react and jump to solving • be willing to sit in the discomfort of not knowing • allow space for a diversity of views (rather than an echo chamber for the loudest or most comfortable)  • acknowledge inherent inequity in existing policy and practice • get vulnerable and learn in new ways • listen more than you talk • ask the right questions of the right people • check if our existing lens might be restricting our view  I don’t know about you but these are qualities I value and respect in leaders. The things we consider the “little things” (or softer skills) are often the essential ingredients for the “big things” we want to grow. It seems @paulkelly was onto something!

#togetherweclan #leadership #resilience #mindset #vulnerability #courageous
#emotionregulation #selfregulation #emotionalintelligence #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #growyourmind #regeneration

The August blog focuses on the health of our relat

The August blog focuses on the health of our relationships and interactions with others. It is perhaps timely given we are currently denied the proximity to others that our nervous system relies on to regulate and soothe.

When we know what was laid down in our early years it helps us better understand feelings and behaviours that otherwise seem inexplicable. It might make sense of our fear of abandonment or intimacy, the root cause of our anxiety about unfamiliar situations, or our heightened sensitivity to criticism.

Understanding the source of our distress can shine a light into dark places. We can then mitigate or even reverse any biological and psychological consequences of adverse relationship experiences.
Link in bio or at....
https://www.positivemoveswellbeing.com.au/blog/

#interpersonalrelationships #relationalhealth #adultattachment #togetherapart #relationshipsmatter #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation #emotionalintelligence #bringingpsychologytolife #therapyisforeveryone #integrativetherapy #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #resilienttogether #thebodykeepsthescore #habitsofhealth #growyourmind #outdoortherapy #telehealth #walkingtherapy

A chance encounter in the dog park reminded me of

A chance encounter in the dog park reminded me of the importance of continuing to engage with others despite our concealment behind the masks. Passing a fellow walker, I noticed a huge smile plastered on the outside of her mask and I couldn’t help but smile inside my own mask in response.

We are equipped with a sophisticate social engagement system and we rely on it to navigate interactions with others and regulate our stress response every day. A smile can ease social tension and put us at ease. Our social engagement system detects signals from others in their body language, vocal tone and prosody, and facial expressions. If the social engagement system likes what it sees, hears and senses then it calms us without us even being aware. In your body, stress hormones are released in response to micro-doses of stress, but the signals picked up from others can mean that despite the hormones we feel calm (thanks to what is known as the vagal brake). This system can override stress hormones and increase the level of oxytocin which is known for promoting feelings of social bonding and well-being.

It is reassuring to know that although smiles are more difficult to see right now studies show observing the area around the eyes is usually enough to recognise someone else’s feelings. We get cues about their feelings not only through facial expressions but also through the way they move and talk. We still mirror the smile of another person even when that individual’s mouth and nose are covered and when we crack a smile chemical messages are released into our nervous system. These messages communicate with our brain to let us know we're 'happy’ and this communication then triggers the brain to produce and release the 'feel-good' hormones: dopamine, endorphins and serotonin.

There is sound rationale to #pinagrinonyourchin and engage others as we pass. Rest assured they will know you are #smilingontheinside and both of you will reap the benefits.

#humanconnection #socialdistancing #adultattachment #togetherapart #relationshipsmatter #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation #emotionalintelligence #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #outdoortherapy

When we interact each person’s mind-body system

When we interact each person’s mind-body system is wired to seek an exchange of information. We exchange and respond to frequencies, vibrations and micro-signals as well as the content of what our partner says. The way one person reacts is influenced by the way the other person receives during an interaction and this shapes how each shows up in the relationship they share.

Underneath all our words and our conscious intentions, our primary relationship follows the twists and turns of two highly attuned nervous systems. Your nervous system and your partner’s nervous system are in constant, silent communication. These two parts are setting the mood, raising the stakes, making peace, or waging war. Nervous system arousal is like an invisible hand in your relationship.

To effectively help your partner regulate their emotions (co-regulation) it’s necessary to regulate your own emotions at the same time (self-regulation). Otherwise you will be constantly activated by their emotional unrest, and you will end up in a familiar cycle of emotional escalation. It takes work to learn to recognise and improve your co-regulation and self-regulation strategies, but it’s worth it.

How effective are you at co-regulation and self-regulation in the relationships you share with others? Which effective and ineffective regulatory behaviours do you see in yourself and in your relationships? What do you need to practice? Are you dancing to the same beat or treading on toes?

#interpersonalrelationships #relationalhealth #adultattachment #togetherapart #relationshipsmatter #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation #emotionalintelligence #bringingpsychologytolife #therapyisforeveryone #integrativetherapy #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #resilienttogether #thebodykeepsthescore #habitsofhealth #growyourmind #outdoortherapy #telehealth #walkingtherapy

Healthy relationships contribute to healthy minds

Healthy relationships contribute to healthy minds so it is important we take care of our connections to others. How we relate is more important than ever. We all want to feel validated, valued and connected but turbulent times can exacerbate our opinions and our coping styles. The divisions unfolding in society can also emerge at our dinner table, on our Zoom calls, and in our bedroom.

Think about the topics causing most tension in your relationships right now? It might be issues of personal boundaries and space, managing rejection and frustration, dealing with efforts to connect, responding to self-appointed experts and considering matters of social justice. Ruptures in our relationships are not lethal but the ability to repair is critical.

In therapy we practice making skilful repairs including the capacity to apologise, the ability to forgive, the ability to teach others what we need, and the ability to learn what others are trying to convey and take on board feedback without shutting down. We are challenged to repeatedly adjust, adapt and repair and it is heartening to know our efforts to patch things up is emotional gold that can leave us stronger than before.

There will be more on healthy relationships for a healthy mind and ways to support (and repair!) your connections with others in the August blog.

#adultattachment #togetherapart #relationshipsmatter #nervoussystemresilience #emotionregulation #emotionalintelligence #bringingpsychologytolife #therapyisforeveryone #integrativetherapy #mentalhealth #melbournepsychologist #resilienttogether #thebodykeepsthescore #habitsofhealth #growyourmind #outdoortherapy #accessibletherapy

Load More… Follow on Instagram

APS_border

Medipass_a

© 2020 Positive Moves Wellbeing
Website design by Mara Communications